How to deal with those frustrating times.
If you currently have a teen or know a teenager, you’ve probably noticed a time or two (maybe a hundred!) where their moods have swung to match those of a drill sergeant in the armed forces. Sometimes, their actions can leave you wondering whether it’s normal, or the sign of something more serious. In most cases, moodiness is a part of their growing development into adulthood. While this may be true, it doesn’t mean you should ignore it and think it will go away on its own. These things can easily start out as harmless, but quickly grow into something more dangerous. It’s best to help them deal with it as these occasions arise, to prevent anything serious from occurring later on.
What causes them to become moody?
There are a lot of reasons why teenagers can become moody. The most common ones are:
- Increased need for independence
- Low self-esteem or confidence
- Feelings of rejection from their peers
How do you help them deal with these emotions?
When moodiness rears its ugly head in your teenager, you will want to try to get to the reason for it. Be open in your communication and always encourage them to talk about what they’re feeling. If you can figure out what’s bothering them, then you can find ways to alleviate their concerns.
For example, if you realise their self-esteem is being challenged, you can combat that with positive remarks about their looks or personality. If they feel they don’t receive enough independence for their age, you can find ways to increase that for them, provided they have shown enough responsibility to earn it.
When does it become something more serious?
A harmless time of moodiness can turn into something more violent or harmful in the flash of an eye, so being aware of what goes on in their life will be essential. Usually, a good sign is when they aren’t as willing to communicate what’s bothering them. If needed, check with their teachers, principal or even school counselors to try and get to the bottom of it. You can also check with their siblings or their friends if necessary. Your teen may not see that as being respectful to them, but it will be necessary at times, in order to intervene with help if it’s needed. The next time they’re unwilling to share their reasons or pass their moodiness off as nothing, then look into it; it’s better to be sure than to wish you had, later on, when something bad happens.
Moodiness is pretty much a part of life for every teen, but it should never be ignored or passed off as such. Sometimes, moodiness can lead to violence to others or toward themselves, without you even realizing that they were that far gone. Getting them help early on is important, provided you know that the help is needed. Be interested in their lives and what’s going on with them. The more you know about them, the easier it could become to figuring out what could be bothering them.
Spark real change in your teenager’s life
Proactive people make things happen whereas reactive people let things happen to them. So, one key skill to develop in your teenager is to help them take responsibility for their own happiness and direction in life, as this helps them to be in the driving seat of their life and not just a passenger. The way you can help your teenager develop being proactive is to be a role model yourself and to watch the language you use to describe things happening around you. Reactive language takes power away from you and gives it to something or someone else. It’s like giving the remote control of your life away to someone else; whereas proactive, positive language lets you choose which channel you want to be on.
Here are some ideas for using more positive, proactive language that you and your kids could have fun re-framing. Change your reactive language of ‘I can’t’ into the more proactive language of ‘There must be a way I can do this’. From ‘There’s nothing I can do’, learn to say ‘I wonder what the other options are’. Turn ‘I have to…’ into ‘I choose to…’ and away from, ‘I ought to’, use ‘I want to’. Finally, from ‘That’s just the way I am’, move to, ‘I know I can do better than this’.
So you can see how important it is to develop this ‘can-do’ approach and attitude to life in your teenager. While you can’t control everything that happens to them, you can teach them how to control how they respond to what happens to them.
Do you know exactly what you want to be, to do and to have?
Are the specific goals and dreams that motivate you
as teenagers guaranteed to give you the feelings and experiences you desire? If not, you know how confusing and frustrating this can be. But you don’t have to deal with it any longer. Here are some ideas to spark real change in your life today:
Let go of the past
Before you can create a better future, you must let go of the pains in your past. Failing once does not mean you will fail forever. Learn from your history, but don’t let it stand as an obstacle between you and your dreams.
Just as important as learning from and overcoming past failure is recalling past success. It doesn’t matter who you are, you have succeeded at something at some time in your past. Don’t gloss over these moments; use them to remind you that you can in fact achieve your goals.
Realise the possibilities
It’s possible. The dreams which you hold in your heart, but push to the back of your mind are within your reach. Accept the fact that you can create a better life. This will serve as the springboard of belief you need to succeed.
Dream the big dream
In order for dreams and desires to inspire you to action and achievement, they need to be big. If you don’t get excited about what you have planned for the future, you will never find the inspiration you need to change your life. Powerful dreams can move the soul, and when you dream the big dream, you will be driven to make the compelling picture a tangible reality.
Thinking your way to change
No matter how much you want it to happen, change will never result from thinking alone – you must take action. The world is swimming in dreamers, but only those who act on their desires achieve truly remarkable results.
A daily habit to begin today
Set aside at least 30 minutes each night to review your day and plan for the next. It’s a simple way to add an element of control to your life. Also, beginning this habit today will help tremendously when you begin to work toward your exciting and inspiring goals and dreams.
Get excited about what’s to come
You are on your way to getting everything you have ever wanted! Now is the time to get excited and inspired about what your future holds. Imagine living your ideal life… now make it happen!
Raise your standards
It’s time to raise your standards. It’s time to expect more of yourself than anyone else. Accept nothing less than your absolute best in all that you do, and you’ll have no problem creating your ideal life. After all, you’d expect nothing less
than living the life of your dreams.